Harry writes the advice column
by BananaRepublic
Summary: Harry is hired to write the advice column, but he is annoying the readers...I just wrote it for fun, but you can check it out. No point...I don't even know why I ever wrote this.And if you have a reading problem because of some symbols, pleeeze tell me.


# Harry gives advice

Harry¡¯s 25, and he¡¯s started a part time advice column for the Daily Prophet once a week. He does this under a pen name, Snuffles, so no one knows that it¡¯s Harry who¡¯s writing all these answers. But Harry gets fired like after 2 weeks because his advices are totally irritating

Cinderella Gin asks: Dear darling Snuffles, There is this MOST GORGEOUS guy whose name I cannot tell. Well.. I should tell you his first name¡¦It¡¯s Harry. And the last name starts with a P¡¦ Well it¡¯s Harry Potter, actually. I want to tell him that I¡¯ve had this ENOURMOUS crush for almost 15 years. How should I tell him?

Harry reads it, and he sighs. Then he picks up his quill, and starts writing. 

Dear Cinderella Gin, I think you have wasted your precious 15 years. Famous Harry Potter is just too busy to have a love life with a girl who is immature enough to call herself Cinderella. So just forget about that gorgeous and cool and good guy, Potter, and look for another guy who likes immature girls. 

Cinderella Gin¡¯s eager eyes read this reply, and she faints right at the spot. She¡¯s just too devastated. 

No. 2 

From Roonikins: I¡¯m in love with this ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL girl named H. I ABSOLUTELY worship the ground she walks on. I want to impress her really, so I¡¯m trying to earn a LOT of money. Can you tell me how to make money? 

PS: I know a dog named Snuffles too¡¦Is your name really Snuffles?

Harry feels even more hopeless. He picks up his quill, and starts to write down.

Dear Roonikins,

Making money IS hard. I heard that Stan, the driver of the Knight Bus, is in need of a part-time assistant driver who can take over the job on Christmas Eve¡¦Uh.well¡¦ maybe you can try that. You earn 10 sickles an hour, by the way. 

PS My name sounds A LOT better than a mere Snuffles

Roonikin finishes this in 10 seconds and reads it again. He is absolutely mad. He picks up his quill and sends a HUGE howler to the Daily Prophet editor. 

#3. Princess_Chow_Rulz writes.

To Snuffles, I know this horrible Mudbl*** girl who looks better than me. It¡¯s absolutely KILLING ME! I want this girl to get eaten by a mountain troll! Tell me what spell I say, and I¡¯ll send you a box of 

¡°The Delicious Veggie Food for the Good Lookin¡¯ Doggies¡± 

Harry smirks. Of course he could guess who it was. So he writes. 

Princess_Chow_Rulez, 

Get real. I bet this girl you are talking about is a zillion times prettier than you are. You are the stupidest, most selfish little slut I¡¯ve ever known in my life! And you can eat the crappy box of delicious doggie food yourself. 

Princess_Cho_Rulez rips the paper into a thousand peaces and sues the Daily Prophet for dissing her.

#5. The Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Dear Mister Snuffles,

I¡¯m a very important person who will be the next Minister of Magic. I am here to ask what color I should wear for the VERY IMPORTANT meeting next week because no one, even my beautiful wife can seem to decide. Which should I wear, the navy blue or the black?

Harry laughs. He writes one single letter:

Orange

The Supreme Ruler of the Universe is irritated. Orange? That¡¯s hideous! But he hasn¡¯t decided which color yet. So he actually wears his orange and green polka-dotted 18th century robe with baby pink race to his meeting¡¦

#5. POTTER_STINKS asks:

I¡¯m SO Shocked. My two best friends are GAYS!!! How can I make them normal again? I actually saw them making out in the dungeon toilet. And maybe raise their IQ to at least 70, as well? 

Ps. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m actually writing for an advice to someone whose name sounds like a dog¡¯s.

Harry smirks. LOL this is getting funny¡¦.

You should be a gay yourself, too, so that you can join your two best friends. And my real name is NOT Snuffles! 

Potter_STINKS blows. He yells to himself. ¡°I¡¯m going to write to Father right now and KILL that f¡¦¡±

Daily Prophet Editor is suffering from getting howlers every 5 seconds. He finally decides to fire Harry Potter. 

Nothing belongs to me except for the idea.


End file.
